THE MEGALOPSYCHIAD

by: A.D. Godley

      REAT and good is the typical Don, and of evil and wrong the foe,
      Good, and great, I'm a Don myself, and therefore I ought to know:
      But of all the sages I ever have met, and of all the Dons I've known,
      There never was one so good and great as Megalopsychus Brown.
       
      Megalopsychus Brown was blessed with a Large and Liberal View:
      Six sides he saw of a question vexed, when commonplace men saw two:
      He looked at it East, and he looked at it West, and he looked at it upside down--
      Such was the large and liberal mind of Megalopsychus Brown.
      He held one creed which he made for himself, and he held it fast and strong--
      That to act in an obvious logical cause is shallow, and base, and wrong;
      And all that was said for Freedom of Trade so plausible seemed and plain,
      That he nearly made up his mind to vote for Mr. Chamberlain--
      Yes! if any one urged that the moon was cheese, he would always at once admit,
      Though the point of view was undoubtedly new, there was much to be said for it.
      But out and alas! for his charity wide had a tendency sad to see
      (And it much impaired the practical use of Megalopsychus B.);--
      For since, as I've said, no strange ideas could cause him the least alarm,
      As he never believed that anyone else intended the smallest harm,
      He became the sport and the natural prey of men both bold and bad
      Who hadn't at heart the Highest Good (as Megalopsychus had);
      Men with a crank, and men with a fad, and men with an axe to grind,
      Men with an eye to the main main chance and an unacademical mind.
      They told him of Science, they told him of Greek, they told him of verses and prose,
      They led him about in the strangest ways by his highly respectable nose:--
       
      Till the Public awoke and was pained to find that Megalopsychus' rule
      Had changed what was once the Muses' seat to a kind of Technical School;
      And everyone said when that learned spot was shorn of its old renown,
      'Behold the large and liberal views of Megalopsychus Brown!'

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